


Gay Boyfriend

by Onehelluvapilot



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And Me - Freeform, Based on a Garfunkel and Oates song, Crack, F/M, Gay, Gay Poe Dameron, M/M, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, So's this fic, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22020511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onehelluvapilot/pseuds/Onehelluvapilot
Summary: This is the dumbest shit I've ever written. Based on the Garfunkel and Oates song Gay Boyfriend.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Rey
Kudos: 28





	Gay Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I wrote this during nano so don't judge me too harshly for it. No clue why I'm publishing it.

"Poe, are you… not into me?" Rey asks as they're lying in bed upon reaching under the covers and finding that her boyfriend isn't hard for the fifth night in a row.

"Of course I am!" he retorts. "No, it’s just that, it's a new medication for… acceleration headaches, that’s the one."

"Okay…" his girlfriend agrees, clearly unconvinced. She knows he is lying, but also what would come next. Her.

"Yeah, I’m sorry I’m not up for it. I'll go down on you though," he offers, and Rey smiles.

After about fifteen minutes, he reappears from under the covers, looking as sweaty but but also seemingly exhilerated as he does when he comes back from battle. It’s just for a minute to catch his breath before he heads back down for more. Afterwards, he talks with her about flying and ship maintenance until she falls asleep, and then he goes out for a walk with BB-8.

  
  
  


"Okay so," Rey says as she sits down across the dining hall table from Finn. She hasn't picked up any food yet, so her hands are available to slap down on the table in apparent excitement. Finn leans forward, knowing that whatever it is, it's bound to be juicy. "I think Poe is gay."

"That's… not what I was expecting you to say," Finn says to cover up his first reaction of “ _ YES _ I have been waiting to hear those words for AGES."

"I mean, I suspected it when I first met him, because I mean, have you met him?” Rey continued. “But then he didn't say anything about it when I asked, so I assumed it was just a case of second-hand 'pleasd-be-gay-dar' that I picked up from you.”

"What makes you think he's gay? Besides the obvious I mean." Finn bit a French fry in a way that he hoped was casual but that his best friend probably saw right through.

"For one thing, he never seems that into me. When I asked if he wasn't, he said "as if" in  _ the _ gayest way. He says that he's on meds, that's why he's never stiff, but he seemed to be lying when he said what they were for and when I reminded him to take them the next day, he didn't remember what I was talking about."

"Maybe they're pills to help with his memory," Finn joked. Rey didn't get it.

"I doubt it. He's not usually forgetful. Another thing, have you seen the way he looks at you sometimes?”

Finn’s face felt hot and he couldn’t think of something to say fast enough to throw off suspicion that he was very, very interested in this line of thought. “I thought I was imagining it,” he admitted. “As you said, please-be-gaydar.”

“Nah man, I’ve seen it too,” Rey assured him. “I mean, he bites his lip every time he sees you.”

“ _ Really _ ?”

“Yeah. It’s infuritating, because it’s so goddamn sexy and it isn’t directed at me.”

“So what are you going to do about it? The fact that he doesn’t like you, I mean.” He hadn’t meant to come across so bluntly, but Rey wouldn’t mind, especially with how frankly she herself was discussing all of this.

“I think I’m gonna break up with him? I mean, it’s not like I’m hopelessly in love with him, nor do I think he is with me. With everything I have to catch up on, I don’t have time for a relationship that’s going nowhere. You and him, on the other hand, that has potential.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah. I mean, give him a bit after I break it off, but yeah. Absolutely.”

  
  
  


In the end, Rey is the flower girl at their wedding.

  
  



End file.
